After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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