Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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