Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
