quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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