He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
