maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
