just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
