He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize