just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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