Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
