lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
