cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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