I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize