he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize