Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
