As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
