Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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