would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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