Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
