Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
