i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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