he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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