i don't plan on having that self control this summer
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
