Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
pray to the hookup gods
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
