I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Randomize
