A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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