Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
