mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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