1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
