Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
