dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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