I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
