you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
