okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
