Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
