Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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