we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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