can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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