there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
