I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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