community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
