I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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