There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Who died my cat blue again?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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