my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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