youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
