So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
