sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
