garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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