dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
