Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
