And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
