I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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