no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
