In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
