so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
