My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
