So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
